Great article Albert Karaman prosihodyaschego the difference of perception in life, men and women, as it affects their development.
Only after the first year of life together with his ex-wife, I began to suspect that the difference between us is characterized not only by external differences, education and personal preferences.
Perhaps the first thing that surprised me - is that the wife perceives what is happening in her life. For example, in the evening she shared the events of the day experienced. Her story could last an hour. There were a lot of details, nested stories, feelings and experiences. While the events themselves of the day were most often quite ordinary, nothing special.
When all share reached me, I gave the air a few suggestions about some important event for me. This is my story ends. This is despite the fact that I really had a desire to share. And if the wife asked probing questions about my feelings in relation to what has happened, I began openly blunt, not even realizing that I have to do. Like, how can there be feelings? In the initial period this relationship led to her suspicions in my insincerity. Moreover, comparing our stories, I myself began to doubt it. Especially considering the fact that I operate freely philosophical categories and in general was inclined to meditate.
Then I set out to examine this issue, and eventually it became obvious how differently we focus on what is happening. I have only been in the focus of my goals. And my man's vision of the situation boiled down to a few options:
the goal is not impressed
the goal has not yet been struck
On the rest of my attention is not sharpened and considered not very significant.
Listening to stories of the evening's wife, I had to admit that my way of seeing the world is a narrow and primitive. But his wife, of course, this was not recognized. I'm the same guy! :)
The big difference
I secretly studied its model of perception, at the same time scrutinizing and comparing patterns of others. It was found that most women in one degree or another to absorb information in a similar way. And this perception has many advantages. For example, attention to detail and richness of impressions, sensitivity to internal states - both his own and others'.
But this did not stop. Over time, I began to notice more and more "feminine features" until defined between a man and a woman a big difference. And in most cases not in favor of men.
In general, the difference in the degree and rate of men and women is clearly visible, if you look to how children behave. So, the boys compared to girls the same age - a primitive single-tasking and being. And worst of all - the situation itself does not change with age.
Male situation can only be changed by conscious effort.
Women themselves somewhere after 25 years are rooted in the condescending attitude toward men as there is certainly helpful, but slightly backward, like the big kids. They, of course, that men do not talk, but if you turn away from the men's prejudices and look at their behavior, the veil from his eyes quickly subside.
And if a man will dare to look into this matter - he will be forced to recognize that women have every reason to be treated so.
According to my observations up to 30 years, men have little chance to catch up in the development of a woman with whom he had a relationship. And more often than if a man feels more developed, it is only because it measures the male line of a woman, and therefore does not see the obvious - the woman initially given more.
The methods of perception and spiritual development
So what is the difference in perception?
It is expressed as follows: a man first analyzes the incoming information, categorizes, interprets and then, if it agrees - passes through. And most of the original information after the men handling the crumbs remain.
And understand this issue delicately: information - is not just a sense that we are passing through the words and the state, feelings, sensations, skills.
The woman opposite - first transmits information through yourself, and only then if it will be an occasion to share it with someone in conversation - interprets it.
The difference between these processes is enormous and gives great odds a woman before the man in the first decade of life. She almost immediately learns the information by translating it into skills and experience, while experiencing comorbid conditions. The process of analysis and alignment of incoming information into some clear structure for women in top are not interested in, and then only interesting in the context of dialogue with men - as a way to immerse yourself in a new state, or find a better companion.
Purely mental processes based on some abstraction women seem completely lifeless, without bearing any experience and therefore tiring.
This is one of the reasons that men created the false impression of their development in comparison with the woman. For example, to communicate it tries to identify her picture of the world through philosophical categories. A woman this way to express their vision is not peculiar. Generally it without any tangible conditions, sound and visible images of bad influence on her. If a woman says, mostly abstract terms, it is like losing her femininity in her eyes. And most women, it feels and avoids.
Due to the fact that a woman is going through the information, and does not think about her 25 years, she is much more experienced man. Almost everything. The man next to her in those years as a teenager unripe. He sure knows more women, because it can not respond to his intricate philosophical questions. But when it comes to specific situations, it turns out that a woman is able to act immediately without relying on some kind of philosophy, while the man was still comprehends what is happening and can not decide on the action.
You've heard about women who have created some slender philosophical or psychological theory? Or maybe spiritual teachings and religion? I think a few of these you know.
You may also notice that the lines of succession most spiritual teachings are no women.
But if you look at the participants in the different developing lectures and training sessions, you will notice that the women they are almost always significantly greater. Especially if the lead has charisma. Moreover, almost all women are at once practical exercises. And the reason is the same - a woman prefers to pass through a state. Theoretical concepts are secondary to them.
And what about the man?
A man tupit in its development until not lay down a clear picture of the world in which it will operate, with defined goals and inclinations. Therefore, men are important authorities and theories with which he and his view of the world adds up.
This is minus and plus. The downside is that the man at the beginning of his way of external support. It almost does not rely on your inner core. Plus the fact that the external support can give him the sublime ideal, and some idea of the way to it.
As I wrote earlier, a man first analyzes and interprets what is happening. For this reason, his attention constantly strives to external objects, in which it loses the sense of self. At the root of man's perception - a sense of inferiority, a search. And it's funny that the sense of inferiority and makes man the main evolutionary link humanity. Think about it.
For women, the external objects are not important, it is important for her own impressions of them. Remember, it first passes information through. And in this it is similar to the vessel in which the world is pouring various liquids, leaving its walls all the new tastes. It is rooted in the sense of its own full and not feel some internal shortages. She did not need to leave their center. And as a consequence of its inner core stronger male.
Do cons of such a position? Yes. Just one. The woman did not believe deep down that she needed something in itself to change. The feeling of usefulness deprive her motivation to spiritual feat. Only this.
And what is even more interesting in the long run, this spiritual feat she did not need. It can make a man she fully accepted as itself. This will be enough to get away from it all is what it has come through the efforts. And this, by the way, for it is not easy, given its prevailing condescending attitude toward men.
Therefore, a wise woman married a man in every way encourages growth. Her task - to raise it up to his level. Thereafter, all further his achievements may be her own.
The man has to learn the feminine way to receive the information. Building on male qualities. For him it is - a daunting task. Take your own life without interference (in the form of continuous thinking and values) is perceived by the man as a kind of internal suicide. Descartes once said:
I think, therefore I exist.
This is a very masculine saying. For a man, his loss is equivalent to the loss of judgment itself. And it's scary.
This step may take years of his spiritual journey.
If a man will begin to analyze the spiritual practices, or, for example, the sacrament of the martial arts, he will realize that most of them have a "female character." Judge for yourself: take without resistance, pay his opponent's strength against the same meeting hardness softness, be empty, flexible, pliable, easy.
P.S. Of course, in our strange time for men and women mixed quality and are not always so clearly as I have described. Men and women of today often change roles. However, a person can not escape from the original parameters in the form of male and female body, which largely operate differently. For example, the work of their hormonal systems is very different. And that leads to differences in the propensity of the psyche. Yes, and our instincts are manifested in different ways. So that all who believe our differences are conditional - it is better to delve into this issue. No differences were much more than I hurt in this article. I touched a root.
P.P.S. And, of course, the soul has no gender. But see themselves outside the human form, and thinking about it - not the same thing.
P.P.P.S. Inspiration to you!